Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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