No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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