handjob tips. give me some.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
