so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize