When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
