so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
We are all done wearing pants today
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize