My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
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He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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