your room smells of hookers.
And success
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
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every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
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Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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