somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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