Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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