you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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