you're like a bully in the Christmas story
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
