Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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