Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
