Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
