for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
