I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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