maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize