I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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