I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
