oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
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So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
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Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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