We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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