BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
