Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
