your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize