hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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