He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
