So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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