Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
