I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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