you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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