I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
My penis needs a shock collar
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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