I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I have fence marks all over my body
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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