that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
