I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
