GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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