Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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