Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
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I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
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Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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