just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
