so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You are a booty call, not a friend.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
