we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
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