TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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