i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize