I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I am available for nakedness
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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