I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He felt like a one man threesome
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize