Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
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