I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
