nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm like, not good at living.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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