She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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