Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
she looked like the before picture.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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