My friends, they love my intelligence
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
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So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
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Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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