Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
