we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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