Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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