she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
