I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize