im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
