She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I love you. Go after that dick
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
